16 August 2011

Only the Ks

We have this girl at the bar who isn't a small girl and tends to overstay her welcome. She demands that we let her play pool. We were playing five nine and waiting to restart. I was behind the bar taking the time off as a moment to type in some bits of accounting in the computer. She finished and some of her 30-year-old students stepped to the table,  the guys took her game as open table like there wasn't a list of names on the whiteboard and like there weren't people sitting all around holding pool cues and waiting to play.

They told jun to get off. Jun looked at me perplexed so i told the guys that there was a game being played and the table was going to play five nine now. i told him he was welcome to play with us that it's a group came but he snapped his fingers meaning I should rack the balls for him and said something i couldn't hear. i motioned for him to come to me. He came and i explaimed in Korean that there are people who were playing, stopped playing to let Amanda play, and were waiting to play again. He told me to rack the balls for him like I'm his lackey. You don't know who I am, do you? I asked.  I said he was being rude. He went a bit nuts like a baby having his pacifier taken from him. He started to yell shiballoma and pyeongshin and and kaesaeki. They told him I run the place and ran over to calm him down. My friends motioned to me that they would knock him out. Dan kept saying, "Let me cold cock this asshole, I so want to cold cock him." I motioned for them to chill and out and calm down. Surely he'll never know i held his life and well-being on the strings I hold. Who is this guy? i asked now in English and found out that he was a doctor. Oh my god we're all in for it. A doctor can't handle a bit of bad news: being told to wait his turn on the pool table. My dear god! This is why we will profit and those around us will fail. Only in Korea will you find this kind of behavior. Only the Ks.

He called out the cliche three or four bad words in Korean and told me how dare i speak to him in English in Korea (keep in mind he is in my bar cause he's in level five in the HUFS instensive language course across the way and remember i spoke to him in Korean). After he was done i calmly said in English now (remember as well that i'm a total asshole), "dude, i make more money than you, i fuck more girls than you (without paying), i speak more languages than you, and my cock is bigger than yours. What do you have? All you have is a bigger ego than i do. Go home and have your mom who you still live with massage it for you, doctor." I could see from his face that you didn't really comprehend my words but picked up that it was probably and insult. He kept calling me pyeongshin and i got up close and said, "go ahead and punch me, doctor."

He just stood there, scared. His friends escorted him outside all apologizing and telling me they will control him but I should understand Korean culture. So help me. What am I supposed to understand about Korean culture: that it is acceptable to randomly curse out non-Koreans? that they get to do what they want anywhere without thinking of other people? that they must be babied because of their inability to stand on their own two feet?

I'm confused. Hold on, if they need to be treated extra gently in some "special" or "exceptional manner", then who is the pyeonshin here?

Dealing with Koreans often makes me feel like I'm Wolf Larsen and they are Humprey van Weydens before getting toughened up by life at sea. Regardless, the point of telling me i should understand Korean culture more is basically intended to buy a free pass for any behavior at any time. Outside of my bar that is fine with me and not my business, but in my bar they get schooled. i will understand Korean culture, I say, but Korean culture doesn't fly down here. Now get him out. Here rudeness, classism and racist comments are not tolerated.

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