Ra! Gabriel

Only the Ks - the Box with no Apt. # episode

2011-12-05T10:48:00.001+09:00

Okay, so i've ordered stuff from the US. It's a box of stuff with my name on it. Granted on the American side, they are a bunch of brain surgeons who left off the building and apartment number. But in their defense it still had the name of the complex and when the delivery asked the guard who i was he didn't know. "He's an idiot," I told the delivery guy. "I'm the only foreigner who lives here. How hard is it top piece together that I am me?" The guy laughed and put the large box in my little shoe-caddy foyer. I thanked him and he waved at Damani before leaving--totally cool with me and the guard. That's the Ks. When one of them fucks up they don't condemn the other.

Only the Ks - episode 2

2011-08-16T15:47:00.000+09:00

Some kyopo korean-american from LA, so he says, he also says he was in jail although he's a skinny little twerp of a guy, starts yelling out, "Fuck Chinese, Fuck Americans!'

I tell him to calm the fuck down and that we accept everyone here and that i won't tolerate racism. he asks me and my chinese friends to have a shot with him so he can apologize. As Jun is lifting up his glass, he pushes the glass at him voilently. I grab him and shove him up from his chair. He breaks the Jagermeister bottle, hoping to use it as a weapon but all it does is slip from his hand innocuously and spill on the floor. i push him out to the stairs worried Jun will fucking destroy him, rip him limb from limb. I shove him up the stairs. "Get the fuck out of here before they fucking kill you, you moron!"

He yells back at me, "I don't ever want to come back here. I live in Kangnam."

Why would anyone want him back here. I scratch my head.

Only the Ks

2011-08-16T15:33:00.002+09:00

We have this girl at the bar who isn't a small girl and tends to overstay her welcome. She demands that we let her play pool. We were playing five nine and waiting to restart. I was behind the bar taking the time off as a moment to type in some bits of accounting in the computer. She finished and some of her 30-year-old students stepped to the table, the guys took her game as open table like there wasn't a list of names on the whiteboard and like there weren't people sitting all around holding pool cues and waiting to play.

They told jun to get off. Jun looked at me perplexed so i told the guys that there was a game being played and the table was going to play five nine now. i told him he was welcome to play with us that it's a group came but he snapped his fingers meaning I should rack the balls for him and said something i couldn't hear. i motioned for him to come to me. He came and i explaimed in Korean that there are people who were playing, stopped playing to let Amanda play, and were waiting to play again. He told me to rack the balls for him like I'm his lackey. You don't know who I am, do you? I asked. I said he was being rude. He went a bit nuts like a baby having his pacifier taken from him. He started to yell shiballoma and pyeongshin and and kaesaeki. They told him I run the place and ran over to calm him down. My friends motioned to me that they would knock him out. Dan kept saying, "Let me cold cock this asshole, I so want to cold cock him." I motioned for them to chill and out and calm down. Surely he'll never know i held his life and well-being on the strings I hold. Who is this guy? i asked now in English and found out that he was a doctor. Oh my god we're all in for it. A doctor can't handle a bit of bad news: being told to wait his turn on the pool table. My dear god! This is why we will profit and those around us will fail. Only in Korea will you find this kind of behavior. Only the Ks.

He called out the cliche three or four bad words in Korean and told me how dare i speak to him in English in Korea (keep in mind he is in my bar cause he's in level five in the HUFS instensive language course across the way and remember i spoke to him in Korean). After he was done i calmly said in English now (remember as well that i'm a total asshole), "dude, i make more money than you, i fuck more girls than you (without paying), i speak more languages than you, and my cock is bigger than yours. What do you have? All you have is a bigger ego than i do. Go home and have your mom who you still live with massage it for you, doctor." I could see from his face that you didn't really comprehend my words but picked up that it was probably and insult. He kept calling me pyeongshin and i got up close and said, "go ahead and punch me, doctor."

He just stood there, scared. His friends escorted him outside all apologizing and telling me they will control him but I should understand Korean culture. So help me. What am I supposed to understand about Korean culture: that it is acceptable to randomly curse out non-Koreans? that they get to do what they want anywhere without thinking of other people? that they must be babied because of their inability to stand on their own two feet?

I'm confused. Hold on, if they need to be treated extra gently in some "special" or "exceptional manner", then who is the pyeonshin here?

Dealing with Koreans often makes me feel like I'm Wolf Larsen and they are Humprey van Weydens before getting toughened up by life at sea. Regardless, the point of telling me i should understand Korean culture more is basically intended to buy a free pass for any behavior at any time. Outside of my bar that is fine with me and not my business, but in my bar they get schooled. i will understand Korean culture, I say, but Korean culture doesn't fly down here. Now get him out. Here rudeness, classism and racist comments are not tolerated.

Ra Gabriel translated into Espanol by Andy Riverbed (que buena honda!)

2008-11-13T23:06:00.000+09:00

Check out poet Andy Riverbed reading translations of my poetry (Spanish and English). Also, don't forget to click the newest issue of litchaos.com where you'll find an interview with Andy that explains such mysteries as to why Andy was once called 1910.

You can pre-order Damaged, Riverbed's book, at the Coatlism Bookstore. It's due out January 1st, 2009 but we hope they'll be available earlier than that. They make a great xmas present!

matt damon does mcconaughey

2008-10-04T13:37:00.000+09:00

Matt Damon does a funny impression of Matthew McConaughey.

Facebook

2008-09-07T13:39:00.000+09:00

Lovely Girl

New Poem

2008-07-11T19:40:00.003+09:00

One poem about religion at the Clockwise Cat. This site always puts out great work, and this issue is no exception. Also, there is a lot of great surrealistic art to go with the poetry. It's really a well done magazine. I am happy to be a part of it. Enjoy.

Doppelgänger (Ra!ph-Michael Gabriel Chiaia)

2008-05-08T21:17:00.003+09:00

Many of you know this already, Ra! is the alter-ego of Ra!ph. Ra! is a bit racier, a bit more aggressive, Ralph is more polished, more mature. Well, that was the idea in the beginning and a chance to big up each other. Now, as the years have wound together and smell like potpourri, they have decided to re-unite. The melding is taking place on madswirl.com and elsewhere. I just wanted to let you in on the little secret.

All the best,
Ra! Gabriel

Ra's back

2008-03-07T00:10:00.002+09:00

Three new poems at madswirl.com. Check them out. And look for litchaos's new collaborative project.

Ra's back in business.

When the yellow bird's note was almost stopped;
And half formed the green plum's fruit;
Sitting and grieving, Ra spun Ra spun
He carried his cup and was drinking alone:
Suddenly he heard a knocking sound at the door:
they rejoiced they rejoiced!

The Save the Cleavage Foundation

2007-12-21T12:11:00.000+09:00

New poem out at Clockwise Cat called "Donate Now". It's in the spirit of Donald Barthelme. The idea of this issue of Clockwise Cat is to get your inspiration from a famous writer.

Another one of my poems "Two Korean Students Blather in a Coffee Shop in Seoul" is featured below. Enjoy that as well.

Also, Ralph-Michael Chiaia, Misti Rainwater-Lites, and David McLean have poems in this issue. Check those out as well.

Ra! Gabriel's Publishing History

2007-12-10T22:21:00.000+09:00

December
Donate Now
Two Korean Students Blather in a Coffee Shop in Seoul
Clockwise Cat

November
Going & Subway Goes
Mad Swirl

September
Jesus' Abs
Letter X Magazine Print Edition #9

June
The Smoking Mirror
Zygote in my Coffee

July
Be Quiet & Listen!
Cerebral Catalyst

April 2007
Flash Light
Practice for the Presidential Debates
Mad Swirl

How Many Calories in that Dump?
Cerebral Catalyst

February 2007
Harsh Harmony
The Nefarious R.A.G.
Mad Swirl

January 2007
Good Etiquette
Quarterly Literary Review Singapore

Careful You're Gonna Break That Thing Off!
Subtle Tea

November 2006
Broccoli Clouds and Anti-Oxidants
Serpent
Zygote In My Coffee

Secret to a New, Advanced Human Race
The Cerebral Catalyst
Winner of the 2006 Bird Flu Prose Prize

Central Air
Dying Writers

see his page at litchaos.com for other publishing information.

Wonderbras, menage-a-trois, & head in expensive cars

2007-11-30T00:48:00.001+09:00

New posts up at Mad Swirl's wonderful poetry forum. Also, check out the biography in verse. I love it. I think it's the best biography I've ever written about myself in the 3rd person.

Keep checking in on Clockwise Cat, where two poems should be up any day now.

Three New Poems

2007-11-23T21:04:00.000+09:00

Yeah, baby! Ra! the man with an exclamation mark burned into his name is coming out in Clockwise Cat issues 6 & 7 with "Donate Now", "Two Korean Students", "On Religion".

Also, check out RMC's work which will also be out in issue 6.

Biography in Verse:

2007-11-19T00:22:00.000+09:00

Ra! the written word's wonderbra, yah
violent coup d'etat, chess partner to Allah
sharp-tongued just released fatwa, shah of kasha
and voila
who once ruled bogota: every Inca, Aztec and Maya.
I must be the greatest Mohammad R-A-G--
turned doppelganger of RMC for a fee
so I flee, see, from guam to vietnam. More
at http://ragabrie.blogspot.com/

The Go-Go Swim Show.

2007-09-21T18:03:00.001+09:00

New poem: The Go-Go Swim Show. Enjoy the rhyme scheme! No? Show me no.

I love you, girl!

2007-09-08T15:50:00.000+09:00

A new ode to girls is out at Mad Swirl's Poetry Forum. Enjoy!

New Poem

2007-08-08T22:54:00.000+09:00

A new poem is at Cerebral Catalyst. This is a great website which, as they say, keeps the Internet literate. Read Be Quiet & Listen! and don't forget the title poem of one of my poetry collections: How many calories in that dump?

Check back soon for more new work.

The Smoking Mirror

2007-07-29T19:07:00.000+09:00

A new poem, a political poem called the Smoking Mirror came out at Zygote in My Coffee. Check it out and don't forget to see my whole publishing history at litchaos.com/ra_new.htm

It's a New Year of Writing -- Gong Xi Fa Cai, lah!

2007-03-04T14:07:00.000+09:00

Hello, fans,

I am back from my tour of Southeast Asia. Now I have been to the Philippines, Borneo, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, and Cambodia. There are still many places to go. While traveling there was a sense of dishonor at what's going on politically in the world. You will see this reflected in some of the new writing I am publishing. Please see Publishing History to see my work that is available online.

The Weed God

2007-02-04T19:50:00.001+09:00

Recently Ralph-Michael Chiaia was published in the East Hampton Star. It's a story called "The Weed God" which involves an elderly woman believing that a tomato in her yard is her husband.

The story is not available online, however, here is the website where you can find out where you can buy it or order the archive. http://www.easthamptonstar.com/dnn/

Publishing History

2006-11-06T23:01:00.000+09:00

Please visit Ra Gabriel's publishing history.

Information Regarding the Novella-in-Verse Glypic

2006-10-17T22:39:00.000+09:00

I'd like to promo Ralph-Michael Chiaia. He is now looking to publish his novella-in-verse Glyphic. You may see excerpts of it when you visit the above link. Parts of it have already been published at Word Riot Magazine and Zygote in My Coffee under the titles "Pillow Talk with My Girl" and Prologue: "Glyphic", respectively.

Critic Julian Jacobson's Praise for Glyphic:

This piece blows me away on so many levels. The act of writing at war with the ineffable strangeness of the subject. That's the story, back in Guatemala and beyond. And how the subject betraying the writing is clearly a brutal 'process of nourishment'. Healing from the sickness that results from going below the surface. Its about so many things but they're all one in there. Writing, mystery, truth, healing, rebirth. The recycling of the story through ones own barbarous internal process. I simply love this piece, in so many ways.

Its ironic how far from a discernible reality it seems, while being the essential truth of your reality. And all of the nuance and imagery...blood, "like soy sauce From clear packets" and when you inhabit Tz'ikin or vice versa: The calm sublimity after you purge. Rebirth. "Frogs bounce out" of the Ceiba. Visual, visceral. Beautiful.

Biography: Ra! Gabriel

2006-10-15T00:15:00.000+09:00

Ra Gabriel was born twenty-seven cycles of the sun ago. His Mayan Day Sign is Eagle which means he has large quantities of cuyopa--body lightning--and has a light magical power. He cries out for what he wants (like an eagle) and often gets it. He currently edits a small magazine which recently had a fatwa issue against it. Therefore, it will remain nameless. He spends most of his time making sun-dials, which he calls self-dials--everything is very Ra-centric. He lives somewhere in Asia with his sultry girlfriend.

Poem: Central Air

2006-10-15T00:05:00.000+09:00

Please see my recently published poem "Central Air".